Checkin’ out in the supermarket line
I didn’t bring a list so I spent a lot of time
Ringin’ me out slow, I got places to go so let’s go
Of late been thinking about life and I’m just feeling so, so down
About those you persecute and paralyze me with fear
It would be easier to deal if I could only choose a beer
So I’m here in the store just ten feet from the door
"Would you like paper or plastic?"

Paper or plastic, paper or plastic
Whichever one you choose it could tear right open
Paper or plastic, paper or plastic
One's small and transparent but the other: no handles
Paper or plastic, paper or plastic
Whichever one you choose it could tear right open
Paper or plastic, paper or plastic
One's small and transparent but the other: no handles

"Excuse me sir, which will it be? "
But I was deep in thought and I could hardly see
Because this one decision had put me over the edge
My brain had finally cracked, maybe I’m better off dead
‘Cause the little things in life mean just as much
Lack of confidence had left me devoid of trust in myself
Grabbed the clerk and said "What do you mean?!?"
That’s when they took me out of there in a straight-jacket limousine

Paper or plastic, paper or plastic
Whichever one you choose it could tear right open
Paper or plastic, paper or plastic
One's small and transparent but the other: no handles
Paper or plastic, paper or plastic
Whichever one you choose it could tear right open
Paper or plastic, paper or plastic
One's small and transparent but the other: no handles

So I’m sitting here in a padded cell
I guess the grocery store fiasco didn’t go too well
Was a man on my way to the top
Till reasons spewed out of control just like a zit goes pop
You snooze you lose, don’t want to make the wrong moves
I think this car is whack, do I want the black shoes? (Buy a clue)
Is there a means to an end? Do I like Stimpy or Ren?
"Maybe we should look into your dreams..."

Paper or plastic, paper or plastic
Whichever one you choose it could tear right open
Paper or plastic, paper or plastic
One's small and transparent but the other: no handles
Paper or plastic, paper or plastic
Whichever one you choose it could rip right open and fall to pieces
Paper or plastic, paper or plastic
One's small and transparent but the other: no handles

Indecision has plagued me all my life
Should I use a spoon or should I use a knife?
Or should I use a spork?
Should I use a Spork?
Should I use a SPOrk?
Should I use a SPORK?
The time has come to say goodbye
Just like George Jefferson I want a piece of the pie or of the cake
With some thorazine that would be great...

SPORK!!!
SPORK!!!!!
SPORK!!!!!!!
SPORK!!!!!!!!!

Paper or plastic
Paper or plastic
Paper or plastic
Paper or plastic
Paper or plastic !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!